Friday, August 04, 2006

Guard Dogs And Teddy Bears

Despite the unending carnage in the middle east, other events continue to happen in the world, such as an ill-tempered guard dog directing its anger against one of Elvis Presley’s teddy bears, as per the following news item:

“A guard dog has ripped apart a collection of rare teddy bears, including one once owned by Elvis Presley, during a rampage at a children's museum.

"He just went berserk," said Daniel Medley, general manager of the Wookey Hole Caves near Wells, England, where hundreds of bears were chewed up Tuesday night by the six-year-old Doberman pinscher named Barney.

Barney ripped the head off a brown stuffed bear once owned by the young Presley during the attack, leaving fluffy stuffing and bits of bears' limbs and heads on the museum floor. The bear, named Mabel, was made in 1909 by the German manufacturer Steiff.

The collection, valued at more than $900,000 (U.S.), included a red bear made by Farnell in 1910 and a Bobby Bruin made by Merrythought in 1936.

The bear with Elvis connections was owned by English aristocrat Benjamin Slade, who bought it at an Elvis memorabilia auction in Memphis, Tenn., and had loaned it to the museum.

"I've spoken to the bear's owner and he is not very pleased at all," Medley said.

A security guard at the museum, Greg West, said he spent several minutes chasing Barney before wrestling the dog to the ground”.

It is my belief that the dog, when seeing Elvis’s teddy bear, was reminded of the lyrics of the Elvis Presley song, “Teddy Bear”:

Baby let me be,
Your lovin teddy bear
Put a chain around my neck,
And lead me anywhere
Oh let me be
Your teddy bear.

I dont wanna be a tiger
Cause tigers play too rough
I dont wanna be a lion
cause lions aint the kind
You love enough.

Just wanna be,
your teddy bear
Put a chain around my neck
And lead me anywhere
Oh let me be
Your teddy bear.

It seems obvious that the guard dog became angry because Elvis, by saying in the song that he didn’t want to be a tiger or a lion because he wanted to be a teddy bear, was implying that, only but for his wanting to be a teddy bear, he would want to be a tiger or a lion. Which means that he, Elvis, had absolutely no interest in being a dog. The dog, somewhat naturally, considered this an insult and so took its revenge on Elvis’s teddy bear.

And the dog’s feelings of anger would not have been ameliorated by the lyrics of Elvis’s song, “Hound Dog”:

You aint nothin but a hound dog
Cryin all the time.
You aint nothin but a hound dog
Cryin all the time.
Well, you aint never caught a rabbit
And you aint no friend of mine.

When they said you was high classed,
Well, that was just a lie.
When they said you was high classed,
Well, that was just a lie.
You aint never caught a rabbit
And you aint no friend of mine.

It seems clear that the song depicts dogs as doing nothing but crying all the time, and not being able to catch a rabbit, so that Elvis would never consider a dog as a potential friend.

What self-respecting guard dog wouldn't have been insulted by this?